


Mistake

by GrumpyJenn



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Introspection, Spoilers for Episode: s08e01, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-25
Updated: 2014-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-14 15:34:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2197158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn





	Mistake

_”I never said it was your mistake.”_

_~The Doctor, Deep Breath_

 

Shut up, it’s not like that.

Oh, I love Clara, I always love them, some more than others, and some differently, but I love them all.

But that silly, sweet eleventh me (The Man Who Forgets but who never forgets), that me loved deeper than most.

Because that me had the Ponds, and when the Ponds were gone, after Manhattan, after Darillium…

That me needed Clara, the way the ninth me had needed Rose. Someone strong but sweet, someone to remind me that the universe wasn’t all a great steaming pile of Dalek droppings.

So yes, if seeming to be Clara’s boyfriend was a mistake, it was _my_ mistake, my aching, yawning need to be admired, to be needed.

But it hurt, oh, it _hurt_ when I was standing right there before her, and she didn’t see me. She was caught up in that me, the eleventh me, and she couldn’t _see_.

I had hurt her, all unknowing. I’d expected her to know, to understand, because she was the Impossible Girl, born to save the Doctor. She’d always seen me before, the countless times she’d saved me, and I knew she remembered. But _I_ didn’t remember, not at the beginning, and all I knew was that Clara could not see me.

Anticipated that one though, that clever, clever eleventh me. Knew how sick a new set of me would be on regeneration, phoned her up and saved the girl who saved the Doctor.

Too bad I couldn’t be ginger for him.

But I have to be grey, and I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure _who._  

Whose face did I choose? Who was the woman in the shop? Who placed the advert?

Doctor Who?

Doctor Who?

Doctor Who?


End file.
